Emerging adults (aged 18–29) with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) often find themselves filtering their actions and natural tendencies to appear more “normal.”
They face a crucial choice: hide their invisible disability to avoid stigma, or disclose their neurodivergence and risk judgment.
This study provides a rare look into the inner calculus of this decision.
Key Points
- Identity First: Most emerging adults (ages 18–29) with ADHD see their diagnosis as an important part of who they are, but this is often a complicated internal struggle.
- Stigma’s Shadow: Fear of judgment, discrimination, and negative stereotypes—learned from society, school, work, and even family—strongly influences the decision to disclose ADHD.
- No Universal Rule: The choice to tell people is highly contextual; participants generally rejected the idea of communicating consistently about their ADHD in all situations.
- The Romantic Trust Test: In romantic relationships, most prefer to disclose only after trust is established or when the topic naturally arises, rather than immediately.
- Why They Tell: The main motivation for disclosing is a desire for others to understand their ADHD-related behaviors—that they aren’t “lazy” or “dumb,” just different.
A Deep Dive into the Disclosure Decision
A new qualitative study used a thematic analysis of online survey data from 60 emerging adults, mostly from the US, all with diagnosed ADHD.
The core of the research centered on embodiment, a concept in psychology and anthropology.
Essentially, it’s about how our living, physical experience of the world shapes our sense of self and our interactions.
For someone with ADHD, this means being acutely aware of how their behaviors—like restlessness or hyperfocus—are experienced as “different” from the norm.
The findings show that for many, deciding when and why to disclose is a form of embodied knowledge.
It displays how they interpret the social world, one often shaped by prejudice against neurodivergence.
Is ADHD Just a Symptom or Part of Who I Am?
Nearly all participants reported that ADHD was included in their personal identity in some way. However, this identity wasn’t simple.
Most (63.3%) said “yes,” having ADHD is an important part of their identity.
Yet, one-fifth chose the response “it’s complicated”. For them, the diagnosis was an important facet of their identity, but they also felt internal tension about it.
One participant wondered,
“Yes it’s a part of my identity but is it just symptoms and not actually me?”.
This internal struggle reflects the devaluing of certain embodied characteristics associated with ADHD.
Interestingly, participants who disclosed their diagnosis more frequently were significantly more likely to consider ADHD an unequivocally important part of their identity.
The Heavy Cost of Hiding Who You Are
The decision to conceal or reveal is heavily influenced by the fear of stigma. Participants reported learning to not disclose their diagnosis from various sources.
- Society and Peers: Many learned from “society” and “people I don’t know well,” reflecting a general awareness of prejudice.
- School and Work: Over one-fourth had negative experiences in academic or professional settings. For example, one graduate student’s advisor dismissed her struggles after she confided in them, treating her “like a burden”.
- Family: Almost one-fifth of respondents learned to not disclose from their parents or family, highlighting that stigma can start at home.
- Media: A few participants explicitly called out media for its stigmatizing portrayal, often “in a way that makes fun of the individual”.
These pervasive negative messages can be internalized as a command to act “neurocognitively ‘normal’”.
The Central Question: Why Tell Anyone?
The majority of emerging adults (74.7%) disclosed their diagnosis for a single, powerful reason: to help others understand their ADHD-related behaviors.
This desire is an attempt to preemptively challenge negative labels.
As one participant explained, they disclose so people understand,
“I’m not lazy, or dumb, just that my brain works different and holy shit am I trying hard to still meet ‘normal’ expectations”.
Disclosure is a way of claiming an unapologetically neurodivergent life.
The Romantic Test: When to Disclose to a Partner
Romantic relationships present a unique challenge, often described as “fraught with complexity”.
When asked the best time to disclose to a romantic partner, two-thirds of participants chose “after a certain period of time or number of dates”.
The most frequent reasons given were related to establishing trust and comfort.
Disclosure is seen as a way to screen possible partners—if they react negatively to neurodivergence, it saves time.
Though almost all participants recommended disclosure in a romantic relationship, they stressed the importance of waiting until one feels ready.
Why It Matters
This study vividly demonstrates that disclosure for an emerging adult with ADHD is not a one-time event but a complex, ongoing “disclosure calculus”. The findings have crucial real-world implications:
- For Clinicians and University Support: The high incidence of learning non-disclosure from school, work, and family highlights the need for systemic change. Clinicians and university counseling centers should offer support groups and “social scripts” to help emerging adults navigate difficult disclosure conversations.
- For Everyday Readers: If someone discloses their ADHD, the best response is not dismissal (“we’re all a little ADHD”) or judgment, but an attempt at genuine understanding. The primary goal of the person disclosing is simply to be understood and to counter the assumption that they are “lazy” or “rude”.
Ultimately, the power to disclose or conceal is about maintaining agency and control over one’s own identity in a world that often demands conformity.
