Sometimes, the biggest mistake we can make is refusing to admit that we’ve made one. What could have been a minor misstep then becomes a much bigger problem, not because of what we initially did, but because of what we decided to do—or not do—next. One skill I try to teach, and hone for myself, is cognitive flexibility: When things aren’t working, look for other options. Even so, I’ve turned small mistakes into much bigger ones by not admitting them quickly enough. I’ve also felt the regret of knowing I should have owned my mistake sooner, all while letting the problem become more entrenched and making the hole I had to climb out of deeper.
Cognitive flexibility after a mistake starts with recognizing that each moment is a new decision point. We don’t have to wait for consequences to unfold, double down on bad decisions, or simply hope that somehow things will work out. We can admit what went wrong and change course. Two cognitive biases, however, can stand in the way and turn small mistakes into much bigger ones.
Sunk Cost Fallacy
The sunk cost fallacy concerns the weight we give to what has already happened when deciding what to do next. In financial terms, this is the classic example of “throwing good money after bad,” such as when someone initially invests in a stock and, while watching its value fall, decides not to sell, holding onto hope that they might recover what they have already lost. Of course, it may be wise to keep investing in a falling stock, but it is never a good idea to do so based simply on the hope of a different outcome.
This fallacy also influences our moral decisions. Imagine sharing an unflattering story about a friend or coworker. Halfway through your story, you realize you probably shouldn’t be telling it. Yet, instead of stopping, you think, “I’ve already said this much. There’s no point in stopping now. Maybe if I end with something nice, it won’t seem so bad.” Continuing the story doesn’t undo the harm already done, regardless of how you end it. It simply creates an opportunity to make things worse.
The underlying problem with the sunk cost fallacy is that our thinking becomes rigid. We don’t see other options. In these moments, it helps to remember that past decisions set the context for our next move, but they do not need to determine its direction. Instead, we can recognize our mistake and begin to limit the harm or repair the damage.
Escalation of Commitment
Escalation of commitment occurs when people double down on a failing course of action. For example, consider someone who tells a small white lie. When questioned, rather than admit the truth, they tell a bigger lie to protect the first one. What began as a minor wrongdoing becomes something much more serious through what the person does next.
Sometimes we fall into escalation of commitment because we hope we can turn things around, but other times we do so because admitting our mistake would threaten our self-image. When self-image is a motivating factor, each decision makes it increasingly difficult and costly to admit wrongdoing.
When we fall into either of these cognitive biases, however, our desire to avoid recognizing our mistake prevents us from doing the very thing that could make the consequences, whether to the outcome or to our self-image, less harmful.
Catching Ourselves in the Moment
Before we can correct a mistake, we must first recognize that we’ve made one. Yet often it is extremely difficult to catch ourselves in the act. As Kathryn Schulz, author of Being Wrong, explains in her 2011 TED Talk, “It does feel like something to be wrong; it feels like being right.” It is only when things don’t go as planned that we then become aware of our “error blindness” and experience the embarrassment, discomfort, or anxiety that comes with realizing that we were wrong.
There is, however, another option rather than waiting until a mistake reveals itself to us. Instead of making decisions with blind confidence or constant worry, we can learn to become more aware of what influences our judgment, question the assumptions we take for granted, and seek out information we may be overlooking. In moments when our choices don’t seem to be serving us, we can ask ourselves, “What am I assuming? What might I be missing? What would I do differently if I didn’t already commit to this decision?”
Here, it is important to realize that when it comes to decision-making, practice doesn’t make perfect; it makes room to notice what else is going on around you.
We often assume that we need to be certain we’re wrong before changing course. After all, we tend to believe we’re right until proven otherwise. Yet, by being open to the possibility that our judgments or expectations may be mistaken, we can be more flexible and even more creative in how we respond to unanticipated situations.
Becoming better decision-makers does not mean reaching a point where we no longer make mistakes. It means being more attentive to the possibility that things are not going as planned and being willing to change our course so that small mistakes don’t become much bigger ones.
