“What You Do Matters”
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In a world hooked on measurable success and tangible outcomes, our culture shapes us to value results over the process, rendering persistence or trying insignificant- unless it culminates in something extraordinary.
This bias is reinforced by how our minds naturally function. We crave certainty and closure, so efforts without immediate success can feel incomplete or unsatisfying. Additionally, our brains are wired for survival; in many ways, we equate success with survival.
When our minds discount the value of trying, persistent effort without results begins to feel futile, as the brain associates effort with inevitable failure rather than potential growth. As a result, this tendency leaves us vulnerable to depression and anxiety.
Ultimately, our mindset can blind us to the quiet strength and progress that trying truly represents. We forget that life unfolds through trying: the seed that pushes through soil, the child learning to walk, the countless unseen moments of effort that pave the way for growth.
Without trying, there would be no evolution, no survival. It is the quiet force that sustains us, carrying us forward even when success feels distant. In its unyielding way, trying is what makes most things possible. It is the essence of existence itself.
Trying is about the inner resources we draw upon in moments of difficulty. When we try, we activate some of our most powerful psychological tools:
- Resilience: The ability to recover and adapt in the face of setbacks.
- Self-compassion: Treating ourselves with kindness, especially when we feel like we’re falling short.
- Hope: The belief that something better is possible, even when the path forward is unclear.
Every time you try, you strengthen these qualities within yourself. You grow, even when the results look invisible.
The Forms of Trying: Hidden Strengths in Everyday Struggles
Each form of trying, whether holding on, letting go, finding balance, recalibrating, or beginning again, carries its own quiet strength. Often hidden beneath the surface of our daily lives, these efforts are the foundation of resilience and growth.
Holding On: The Anchor in the Storm
Life doesn’t always ask for big steps forward; sometimes, it just asks us to stay. Holding on means quietly enduring uncertainty and pain when moving forward feels impossible. It’s about finding the strength to face another day, even when everything feels heavier.
For Lisa, after a miscarriage, holding on means trying to live with the fear of a repeat miscarriage while still finding hope in the unknown.
Psychologically, this reflects distress tolerance: the ability to endure emotional discomfort without resorting to impulsive or destructive reactions. It’s a skill that anchors us in the storm, helping us navigate pain and uncertainty when the external world feels out of control.
The Takeaway: Holding on is not stagnation; it’s resilience in its truest form. Every day you endure, you build emotional strength and expand your ability to face life’s uncertainties.
Letting Go: The Strength in Surrender
Letting go is often misunderstood as giving up, but in truth, it is one of the bravest forms of trying. It means releasing control over what cannot be changed, loosening the grip on expectations, and making peace with the unknown. For Emma and James, letting go was about accepting that their rigid timeline for starting a family was no longer serving them. By shifting their focus to what life could offer, they found peace in possibilities they had not previously considered.
We call this acceptance, the practice of acknowledging reality without resistance or judgment. Letting involves redirecting energy from fighting the unchangeable to focusing on what can grow and evolve.
The Takeaway: Letting go is not failure; it is freedom. It is choosing to focus your energy on the present rather than clinging to what was or what might have been.
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Finding Balance: The Art of Recalibration
Balance is not a fixed destination but an ongoing act of trying. It is the effort to protect your emotional energy while remaining open to life’s possibilities. For Mia, balance means making intentional choices like allowing herself to rest and saying no to overwhelming demands. Each small decision, such as carving out moments to recharge, reflects her commitment to recalibrating her life as she navigates its challenges.
This process reflects self-regulation : the ability to manage thoughts, emotions, and behaviors during stress. Balance is not about perfection but about making thoughtful choices that support your well-being.
The Takeaway: Balance is not about equal weight; it’s about intentional choices and the ongoing act of trying. It’s about giving yourself the grace to adapt, knowing that each effort to try strengthens your ability to navigate life’s challenges.
Recalibrating: Finding a New Rhythm
When life shifts unexpectedly, recalibration becomes essential. It’s the process of adjusting to a new normal and finding stability after upheaval. Whether it’s rebuilding after loss or adapting to change, recalibration means shaping a life that fits the present rather than holding on to the past.
Psychologically, this reflects resilience—the ability to adapt to adversity and grow from life’s challenges. Recalibration is not just survival; it is the ongoing act of trying, discovering new approaches, and moving forward with purpose.
The Takeaway: Recalibration is an act of resilience and trying. It shows your strength to adjust and grow in the face of uncertainty and change.
Beginning Again: The Courage to Start Over
Starting over is the most vulnerable and hopeful form of trying. It asks us to step into the unknown, risk failure, and trust in the possibility of something better. For Sarah and Michael, exploring adoption after years of unsuccessful IVF cycles was an act of courage, a step toward a new dream.
This reflects a growth mindset: the belief that abilities and outcomes can improve through effort and learning. Beginning again is about believing that after disappointment, there is still potential for joy and fulfillment.
The Takeaway: Beginning again is an act of hope, a choice to try and trust that even after disappointment, the path forward holds promise.
To Everyone Who’s Trying Right Now
To try is to show up for yourself and your life, even when the odds feel stacked against you. It’s not about achieving perfection; it’s about making the small, brave choices that move you forward, even if only by an inch.
Whether you’re trying to hold on, let go, find balance, or start again, know this: your effort shapes who you are and the life you’re building. Every attempt is an act of hope. Trying is enough. You are enough. Keep going, you’re stronger than you think.
