Let’s say you’re at a dinner party—maybe it’s a networking event, a book club, or just one of those social obligations where someone inevitably asks, “So, what do you do for fun?”
You could go the brutally honest route: “Scroll Zillow and imagine my life in an MCM dream home… rewatch Before Sunrise for the 18th time… read a random fantasy novel where an ancient evil returns and only a group of childhood friends can stop it—after a suspicious number of detours.”
Or you could go with the more polished version:
“Train for half-marathons… perfect my espresso art… learn Italian because I refuse to be the person who only knows ‘ciao’ and ‘gelato’.”
It’s very possible you’re into all of the activities I mentioned above, or maybe just a mix.
But here’s the thing: both answers tell a story. And what you tell people you do in your downtime shapes how they perceive you. Not just as a professional, but as a human.
Eudaimonic Leisure and What It Really Means for You
Recent research published in the Journal of Consumer Research explored the subtle but powerful impact that disclosing specific types of leisure activities has on how others perceive us. And spoiler alert: how you spend your weekends has more sway over how people judge your competence and warmth than you might think.
When you engage in eudaimonic activities (those that promote personal growth, meaning, and fulfillment like fitness training or learning a new skill), others tend to rate you as more competent.
It’s not just a “hobby” thing. It’s the deeper signal of competence that comes with these activities. If you say you’re learning a language, or training for a marathon, you’re saying a lot about your character. You’re showing that you can commit to something, that you’re disciplined. These activities paint the picture of a person who has it together.
On the flip side, hedonic activities (hobbies focused on pure pleasure and enjoyment like binge-watching The Bear or obsessively scrolling TikTok) can make you seem warm, relatable, or even fun.
But, warmth doesn’t signal competence, and competence doesn’t signal warmth.
The studies, conducted by Michelle Daniels and their colleagues, showed that people are more likely to choose and engage with someone who talks about eudaimonic activities in a professional context. In fact, people were more willing to support a student’s professional pursuits when they shared their eudaimonic hobbies compared to, say, just chilling on the couch with Netflix.
However: if you’re already established at work—say you’ve got the awards and reputation for closing deals —then talking about a low-effort hobby, like your binge-watching obsession, might not hurt you as much. In fact, it could even enhance your likability. You’re showing that you’re more than just your work—you’re human, too.
Without those external competence cues, though, eudaimonic hobbies become even more important. They serve as social proof that you’re competent and capable, helping you stand out when you don’t have a trophy case doing it for you.
How This Affects Your Professional Life (And Why It’s More Than Just Small Talk)
Now, you might be thinking: “OK, but what about when I’m just… myself? I don’t want to make my free time a strategic move.”
I totally get it. But how you talk about your downtime speaks volumes, even if you don’t intend it to.
Think about the last time someone asked what you do for fun. Did you freeze for a moment, unsure of how to answer? Did you end up defaulting to “I do a lot of different things,” or just rambling about random hobbies?
This is where the insights from this research becomes extremely helpful. If you only talk about your super productive hobbies, people might admire your discipline but feel disconnected from you. If you only lean into the fact that you like scrolling through TikTok and organizing your fridge like Marie Kondo—you may come across as warm but not particularly impressive.
But if you find that sweet spot—where you know when to talk about your professional growth and when to still share how you unwind with some guilty pleasures? Now, you’re building rapport, showing that you’re capable, but also fun and approachable.
It all depends on your audience, too. If you’re talking to someone who’s hyper-focused on productivity and achievement, they’re going to respect the marathon training and the Italian lessons more. But in a casual setting with someone who values relaxation and personal connection, you’ll get extra points for being real and human.
So, What’s Your Move?
So here’s the bottom line (and it shouldn’t surprise you at this point): it’s all about the context.
If you’re looking to show competence in your professional life, let your eudaimonic hobbies shine.
But once you’ve established that competence—whether through career achievements or awards—feel free to mix in your more laid-back, fun hobbies. When you have the competence already baked in, you can talk about your obsession with The White Lotus without people questioning your work ethic. You’ve already shown that you’re capable.
Just remember this approach works best with people who value meaning and fulfillment. The ones who’ll see your love for hiking or cooking as a reflection of who you are that they can connect with. They’ll trust you, and they’ll want to support you.
So, embrace the mix when the moment is right. It’s your way to connect and stand out in a way that feels natural and real.
Final Thought: Just Be a Person
The real takeaway here isn’t to obsess over what your hobbies say about you—it’s just to be aware that they do say something and talk about them at the right times.
If you genuinely love reading philosophy, great. If you’d rather spend your weekends ranking fast-food french fries, also great. But if you’re only talking about the things that make you sound impressive and never mentioning the things that just actually bring you pleasure (or vice versa), you might be missing out on some of the best parts of human connection.
So, next time someone asks what you do for fun, maybe don’t overthink it. But also, maybe think about it just a little.
