We’ve been taught that successful leadership involves chasing, persuading, and hustling until we reach a desired outcome. Like a hunter on the prowl, we stalk our potential customers like prey in the form of sales calls as we relentlessly track conversions and revenue. And we also cast our bait like fishermen through advertisements and limited-time offers. We patiently wait until we get our hot leads on the hook, then reel them in fast once we feel a tug of interest.
Yet what if there is a third way? One that doesn’t have a predator-prey relationship but has a symbiotic relationship based on resonance where everyone wins?
Welcome to the magnetic approach.
How High-Performing Leaders Are Really Burning Out
Most high-performing leaders get misdiagnosed for burning out due to time management issues and having too many responsibilities on their plate. Yet when I dig in with my clients, we find it’s more of an issue of a lack of passion and purpose in their work. And the research backs this up.
About 77% of professionals in a recent survey by Deloitte reported burnout at their current job. The top reasons being misaligned values and a lack of control (Deloitte, 2022). This is not a time management issue. It is a lack of freedom and passion.
The outdated leadership model is to try to squeeze as much effort out of each and every employee and praise those who hustle the hardest for the longest. Yet psychologists are beginning to see what they call “goal striving fatigue.” This is the depletion of motivation caused by chronic effort without congruent internal rewards (Friedman & Förster, 2001).
It’s like trying to force a square peg into a round hole. Even if you succeed, you distort the peg. And the damage is cumulative.
How Attraction Works
Think of the most successful fitness and wellness influencers and the truth should become crystal clear. Companies pay millions of dollars to these influencers for exactly what their name entails; their ability to influence. And the most successful ones are not influencing by hunting or fishing style tactics but by embodying the ideal that the company’s products or services promote. While these influencers may not be the CEO of the company, they inspire potential customers by the way they live and how they show up in the world. Their presence creates a magnetic effect.
Magnets don’t hustle, manipulate, or sell. They simply align. Their power doesn’t come from chasing or force but from attracting with their alignment.
Our brains are wired for emotional resonance. According to Dr. Richard Boyatzis of Case Western Reserve University, resonant leaders who operate from alignment and empathy activate neural circuits in others that increase trust and engagement (Boyatzis et al., 2013).
Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx, which she sold for $1.2 billion, is a perfect example of a magnetic leader who inspires through resonance. Countless women don’t just want to buy Blakely’s products. They want to be her and be in her presence. And her employees loved working for her and her mission business. Blakely attracts raving fans by leading with authenticity, humor, and purpose, not manipulative sales or fear tactics. They feel like they intimately know, like, and trust her.
From Force to Field
Imagine your energy like a radio signal. A powerful, clear broadcast makes it easy for those aligned to tune in and hear your message. Yet as a leader, if you give off an energy of desperation or appear to be trying too hard, you won’t attract the results you desire. You’ll end up with uninspired teams, and clients who drain you.
The key is to not view this as failure but as feedback and recalibrate your field accordingly.
The Science of Alignment
Positive psychology research shows that when individuals act in ways aligned with their core values, they report higher motivation, resilience, and satisfaction (Sheldon & Elliot, 1999). Alignment isn’t just a trendy buzzword. It’s foundational for sustainable fulfillment.
Dr. Barbara Fredrickson’s “Broaden and Build” theory shows that positive emotional states expand cognitive resources and build long-term resilience (Fredrickson, 2001). In contrast, fear-based pushing narrows vision and burns out the system.
Nervous system regulation is foundational to magnetism. When you feel safe in your body and in all of your places, others will in turn begin to feel safer around you.
Leadership Essential Reads
How to Lead Like a Magnet
Instead of “think, speak, act,” I have my clients align themselves then think, speak, and act. Or as Mahatma Gandhi put it, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Here’s how.
- Tune In and Calibrate. Ask yourself: Am I leading from love or fear? Before sending another email or launching a project, get clear on your intent. Your energy will speak louder than your words.
- Center Yourself. If you’re not feeling aligned, choose a modality like breathwork, emotional freedom techniques (tapping), or gratitude to help shift your physiology from survival to safety. Your calmness or enthusiasm will tune others to match your energy.
- Prioritize Quality Over Quantity. Focus on reaching the perfect person who will align with your message and an intention of enhancing their life for the better. This will attract like-minded people who will energize you rather than exhaust you.
Final Thought
In times of turmoil and diminished trust in leadership on all levels, people are skeptical of being hunted or baited. They crave authenticity. Leaders who radiate compassion, peace, authenticity, and passion will create sustainable movements.
