Adolescents are prone to impulse, but adults tend to think about things before acting. Most adults who are suicidal plan their deaths. They think about how they want to do it, where, and when. The degree of planning is a strong indicator of the risk. The more concrete a person’s plan is, the more likely he or she is to implement it. This is why the first step for helpers is to assess the risk and determine if an attempt is imminent.
In terms of how, there are myriad options: a gun, knife, rope, pills, car, poisons, or jump site. Today, people have access to multiple means, so it becomes a matter of choice. Two factors go into the decision: Will death be quick, and will it be painless? Guns are lethal, but they leave a mess. The thought of cutting themselves is abhorrent to some people, while others fear asphyxiation. Pills and carbon monoxide poisoning take longer and leave open the possibility of intervention.
Individuals intent on suicide don’t want a lingering death. They want life over with now, and they don’t want to experience any more pain than they are experiencing already. That pain—emotional, physical, or mental pain—is what drove them to this point, and the thought of adding to it is unthinkable.
Two other factors sometimes enter into the equation as well: Is death virtually guaranteed, and who will find the body?
Bridges are the choice for some suicidal people because there isn’t a death scene left for loved ones to discover. Individuals either sink into oblivion, never to be seen again, or their body is recovered by first responders: police officers, paramedics, or the Coast Guard. Either way, family members are spared a gruesome scene.
Some suicidal people kill themselves in remote locations, such as parks, where family members won’t find their remains. Others rent hotel rooms for the same reason: Strangers rather than loved ones will have to deal with the immediate aftermath.
The bottom line is that people who plan their deaths think about the means. They don’t make an attempt haphazardly but rather decide in advance how they are going to do it, taking whatever steps are necessary—gaining access to a firearm and ammunition, stockpiling medications, learning a hangman’s knot, knowing how to direct a car’s exhaust into the sealed cabin of the vehicle, or researching whether a potential jump site has a suicide barrier.
Once they decide on the means and location, they settle on a date. In many instances, this isn’t arbitrary. Anniversaries—of a marriage, a divorce, a birthday, a death—often are chosen because they have special meaning. This is why helpers pay attention to anniversaries, and why part of the safety planning that they do with suicidal people is focused on getting them past this date. A person still may attempt suicide—there are no guarantees that the risk has ended—but at least the helper has bought time. In suicide prevention, buying time can be everything.
If you or someone you love is contemplating suicide, seek help immediately. For help 24/7 dial 988 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, or reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
