Maya Angelou was an American poet who, over her lifetime, explored themes of oppression. She touched countless people, and by the end of her illustrious life, she had inspired generations with her wisdom and insights. Here’s an example:
“I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back.”’ Maya Angelou
This quote contains wise advice and guidance in many areas of life—especially for women who are searching for their voice at work.
In their careers, women often find themselves in awkward situations privately and in meetings. Not uncommonly, a man says something inappropriate to them. It could be a peer, a subordinate, a supervisor, a vendor, or the CEO. Whenever it happens, women often sit silent, trying to get over the shock, not knowing quite what to say.
Following Angelou’s good advice, women need to remember that they have a free hand to use to throw the ball back. The power is in women’s hands to decide whether to throw a soft ball or a hard ball.
A soft-ball approach to an inappropriate remark would be to simply say, “Would you repeat what you just said?” The question works especially well in a group setting because it accentuates to everyone—hopefully including the person who said it—how unprofessional the remark was. Although it probably won’t elicit an apology, it does give the woman credibility and power, opening the door for her to make a follow up statement related to the subject at hand.
A hard-ball approach would be a direct and quick response to how inappropriate the comment is. It might be stated like this, “John, that remark was demeaning to me and every woman sitting around this table, and honestly, we all deserve an apology.” This sends a clear message that respect matters and that you won’t look the other way if you—and your female colleagues—are disrespected. Depending on the severity of the situation, it could also involve speaking with the person’s supervisor or the human resources department.
Unfortunately, women in the workplace have almost certainly experienced inappropriate remarks and behavior by some of the men they work with. How women learn to handle themselves in such situations is key to their effectiveness, productivity, career success, and personal and professional fulfillment.
In closing, here’s another pearl of wisdom from Angelou:
“I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. “
Let’s all take it upon ourselves to learn together; learn to share our stories, learn to speak up and not remain silent, learn to have each other’s backs, and learn to change the workplace culture where inappropriate remarks and behavior are not tolerated.
