There are women in my life who just show up.
It doesn’t matter how much time has passed or whether the scales of giving and receiving are evenly balanced. I know who has my back. And for that, I am endlessly grateful.
They’re the women who do the drive-by drop-offs, leaving homemade chicken soup on the porch when I’m sick, or tired, or both. If they live further away, they might send care in other forms—a card, a gift, a surprise package. I’ll never forget the time an entire month’s worth of individually wrapped gifts arrived on my doorstep, lovingly curated by a friend who knew I needed some extra light.
I never take these quiet acts of love for granted.
But their support goes far deeper than gifts. It’s the women who check in when we’ve gone quiet for a day, a week, or a season. The ones who gently remind us that they will be here, whenever it is that we come up for air.
Because sometimes life pulls us under. Children need us, careers shift, health issues arise, and aging parents require care. Our energy stretches thin, and even the best of friendships can fade into the background for a bit.
But these women still show up. In small, but meaningful ways.
They are the ones I call when I need a stand-in, like the time I had to leave town urgently and unexpectedly the same day I was supposed to host a party. Instead of cancelling, two dear friends arrived at my house to host it for me. Because sometimes love looks like assembling St. Patty’s day sliders and shamrock cupcakes in your friend’s kitchen.
Beyond favors, we share long voice texts — honest, raw, and unfiltered. We talk about the worries or grief that keep us up at night and the dreams we’re quietly reviving. We hold each other’s hopes and heartaches, so that we don’t have to carry them alone.
These friendships have become the pillars of my life in mid-adulthood—not because they’re perfect, but because they’re real. And full of love. These women witness our stories, add color to our lives, and hold us through the messy middle.
As someone who has studied positive psychology, I understand how central these relationships are to our well-being. According to Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, positive emotions like love, gratitude, and joy don’t just feel good—they help us think more creatively, build psychological resilience, and foster growth. And who better to evoke those emotions than the women who bring laughter to our tears, who know our idiosyncrasies, and who walk beside us in lightness and dark?
But it’s not just in the hard times that we benefit. These women embody what psychologists call active-constructive responding (ACR), or the practice of celebrating each other’s successes with sincere enthusiasm. It’s when a friend lights up at our news and joins us in our joy. These exchanges fill our cups and turn ordinary moments into something to savor.
And then there’s mattering—the sense that we are valued by others and make a difference in their lives. Mattering increases our motivation, our resilience, and even improves our physical health. An unexpected check-in or a quick hug at school pick-up reminds us that we are seen. That we belong.
So this is my Mother’s Day tribute to the women who mother each other in a thousand little ways. To the ones who remind us that we’re in this together; who reflect our strength; who walk with us through joy, sorrow, and the beautifully mundane in-between.
You show up. And in doing so, you hold me up.
Thank you.
