Imagine walking into a meeting and seeing two colleagues whispering. For many, it is a minor curiosity. For someone with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), it can feel like a physical blow to the chest.
The heart races, the stomach drops, and a voice inside begins a relentless interrogation. What did I do wrong? Are they laughing at me?
This is not just “being sensitive.” It is an intense, visceral response that can paralyze a person for hours or even days.
Key Points
- Environmental triggers are just as important as biology in how neurodivergent people experience rejection.
- The “Shame Spiral“ involves intense physical and emotional reactions that often link back to past trauma.
- Late diagnoses can leave a “mental catalogue” of childhood mistreatment that fuels current sensitivities.
- Safe spaces and direct communication significantly reduce the impact of these painful emotional responses.
Moving Beyond the “Broken Brain” Narrative
For years, RSD has been discussed as an internal flaw. It was often seen as an unavoidable side effect of being Autistic or having ADHD.
This view suggests that neurodivergent emotional systems are simply “faulty” or “overactive.”
A new study uses a different approach called reflective thematic analysis. A neurodivergent researcher worked with seven other neurodivergent adults to explore their lived experiences.
They found that RSD is not just about how the brain is wired. Instead, it is a complex interaction between biology and the world we live in.
The Ghost of Rejections Past
One of the most powerful metaphors to emerge from this study is “scar tissue.” Participants described how years of being “the weird kid” at school created deep emotional wounds.
When a neurodivergent person is diagnosed late in life, they often have decades of unexplained social friction.
They might have been bullied by peers or even mistreated by teachers who did not understand them. These experiences do not just go away.
They form a “mental catalogue” of past pain. When a new social threat appears, the brain does not just react to the current moment. It pulls from that catalogue.
The current rejection becomes an “emotional echo” of every bad thing that happened years ago.
Why the Word “Dysphoria” Matters
The term “dysphoria” comes from ancient Greek and describes a state of intense pain or discomfort. For many in the neurodivergent community, this word is a lifeline. It validates that what they feel is real.
However, the study found that the language we use can be tricky. Some participants felt “dysphoria” was confusing because they associated it with gender identity. Others felt the word “sensitivity” sounded like a deficit or a weakness.
The researchers suggest we need a “biopsychosocial” model. This means looking at the biological temperament, the individual’s psychology, and the social environment all at once.
The Power of the “Safe Fraction”
The study revealed a hopeful discovery about our environments. RSD is not a constant state. It changes depending on who we are with.
In groups where diversity was celebrated, participants felt “neuropositivity.” When they were around people who used direct and honest communication, their RSD symptoms often vanished.
One participant described her current workplace as the first place she felt safe to be even a “fraction” of herself.
This suggests that RSD is not just a “neurodivergent problem.” It is often a reaction to “neurotypical” environments that are not set up for different ways of being.
Turning Down the Volume on Shame
When the environment is supportive, the brain’s safety system can whisper instead of shout. Understanding this can change how we approach therapy and workplace policy.
Instead of just telling neurodivergent people to “regulate their emotions,” we can look at the environment.
Are we providing clear, direct feedback? Are we creating spaces where being “different” is not punished?
Why it Matters
This research shifts the burden of RSD away from the individual. It shows that while the emotional pain is very real, it is often a “learnt response” to an unsupportive world.
For the general public, this means that kindness and clarity are more than just good manners. They are essential tools for mental health.
For clinicians, it highlights the need to treat RSD with the same care as complex trauma. For the everyday reader, it offers a path toward self-compassion.
Knowing that your “sensitivity” is actually a protective shield built from past experiences can be the first step toward healing.
Reference
Sandland, B. (2025). Neurodivergent Experiences of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria Expose the Environmental Factors too Often Overlooked. Neurodiversity, 3, 27546330251394516. https://doi.org/10.1177/27546330251394516
