Many of us have tried to look on the bright side when life feels heavy. As someone who identifies as a positive person, I am always trying to stay—or at least pretend to be—positive whenever possible. However, sometimes it is challenging to stay positive in a situation where we could have an excessive amount of distress such as burnout and loss of a loved one. We have all been there as human beings. Someone can offer me to “just stay positive,” but in those moments, I am not sure being positive is still helpful. In fact, it’s physically draining. So, what do we do when the bright side feels too far away?
A licensed clinical social worker, Deb Dana, introduced the concept of “glimmers,” referring to micro moments (e.g., small daily cues) that help our nervous system move toward a state of calm and safety. The concept of glimmers is grounded in Stephen Porges’s Polyvagal Theory (Porges, 2011), which is a neurophysiological framework suggesting that glimmers function as cues to activate the ventral vagal system, supporting social engagement and feelings of safety. According to the theory, this activation helps us shift away from defensive stress responses. Therefore, by intentionally recognizing or creating these micro moments (glimmers), we can gently guide our nervous system toward a calmer and safer state. I believe that glimmers can serve as our “micro-pivots,” helping us respond more effectively to stressful events in our life events.
Here are four practical steps for integrating glimmers into micro-pivots whenever we need.
- Create a personalized glimmer list. We can identify tiny, sensory practices that make us feel better.
- Intentionally engage in daily glimmer practices. This can be simple as walking outside or finding a spot for a patch of sunlight.
- Pair these glimmer practices with our daily existing “micro-habits or routines.” For me, going to the gym isn’t just about fitness. It also serves as a glimmer.
- At the same time, we can use our phones to create “glimmer folders” by collecting favorite photos, screenshots of encouraging messages, and playlists of favorite music that helps us reconnect with a sense of calm and safety.
My take is that we first acknowledge our difficult emotions and intentionally turn our attention to a glimmer. Glimmers are not the opposite of triggers. Rather, they co-exist within the darkness. We need to keep reminding ourselves that struggle is not the only one that exists in our minds. That said, we strive to expand our capacity to return to regulation rather than eliminate stress (Dana, 2018). Our daily glimmer practices may serve as our micro-pivots to help us move our nervous system toward calm and safety.
