We’re all busy and have trouble keeping up with calls and voicemails. But a phenomenon called telephobia shifts phone call anxiety to a much higher order of magnitude. We’re familiar with phobias of heights, spiders, crowded rooms, airplanes, and so on, but “fear of phones”? You may have never heard of it, but it’s real, and growing.
While considered relatively new, relegated to millennials and Gen Zers (digital natives who prefer texting to talking), telephobia has actually existed for decades and was first written about in the early ‘90s, years before cellphones or smartphones. One U.K. study found 40% of baby boomers and 70% of millennials reported anxiety when the phone rings. And a 2024 study of more than 300 students revealed 9% experienced moderate to severe telephobia and 33% experienced mild telephobia.
Common Causes and Triggers of Telephobia
Generally, people with telephobia fear what someone else (the person calling or leaving a voicemail; or picking up one’s call) might think of them. They anticipate judgment. Some experience telephobia because of traumatic past phone experience(s), but most with telephobia are simply apprehensive they won’t know what to say, how to ask for what they need, or that they’ll be found wanting in some way. No one likes to be judged, and similar to those who experience stage fright, those with telephobia fear they’ll “mess up,” feel embarrassed, or worse.
Compounding the problem is that almost no one has heard of telephobia, so it remains a quiet, shameful little (or big) secret. This only compounds anxiety and isolation, contributing to people thinking “they’re the only one” with this problem.
At its extreme, telephobia can lead to relationship problems, impaired occupational functioning, social isolation, and more. Imagine if you never answered your phone, reviewed voicemails, or made phone calls for, say, just three months. It could create unlimited personal and professional havoc.
How Telephobia Varies in Severity
While people with mild telephobia feel only a touch of stress upon hearing the phone ring (and can usually answer it anyway), those on the moderate to severe end of the telephobia spectrum can experience total inability to call, answer, or listen (let alone respond) to voicemails. Thus, telephobia presents as a minor nuisance all the way to disabling panic.
Gen Zers, born between 1997 and 2012, are admittedly more at risk, due to less lived experience using the phone (versus online communications). One college in the U.K. has created a class to help students with telephobia, but recovery can be done at home as well.
Tips and Strategies to Overcome Telephobia
Start low, go slow. First, call friends or family you are comfortable talking with face-to-face. Work up gradually to higher-stakes call recipients and professional needs.
Give yourself a break. Let yourself try just a one-minute call to begin, increasing as you become more comfortable.
Use a schedule. Just like “office hours,” agree with yourself to answer phone calls (or make calls, or listen to voicemail) during certain hours, offering yourself time off the rest of the day.
Keep a list in front of you with lines like, “hmmm,” “wow,” or “I need a minute to think about that.” This gives you time to take a breath and relax before responding.
Ask yourself, what’s the worst that could happen? You hang up and try again later, saying you’re sorry you got cut off (it’s the truth!). Reminding yourself the worst possible outcome is not catastrophic helps create courage to conquer what you fear.
Role-play. Ask a trusted friend or family member to pretend they’re your professor talking to you about your paper, or a boss or customer requesting your assistance. Role-play can help get you ready for any call.
Work off a script. Even a few talking points increase your confidence on the phone. Soon, you’ll likely find yourself not relying on the script much or at all.
Most people with telephobia use these ideas and significantly increase their comfort and ease with phone communication. But if telephobia drastically impacts your personal and/or professional lives, and these tips don’t help, reach out for assistance. Phobia treatments work, and you can recover. Changing your relationship with your phone (calls) can change your life.
