It should be no surprise to anyone that criticism can tear a child down. Parents may not always realize how important their words are in shaping a child’s sense of self. If parents expect their child to do things a certain way, yet do not praise them when they do, a child can feel unseen and unappreciated. Then, when parents criticize the same child when they fall short, the child may feel they only get parental attention because they’ve done something wrong. This, in turn, makes it more likely the child will feel bad about themselves. By mostly receiving negative attention, they may internalize that they aren’t good enough. This may then result in damaging their self-esteem and lead to a poor self-image. By feeling badly about who they are, they can then go down a rabbit hole of emotions, which can put them in a very bad emotional place.
The Dangers of a Poor Self-Image
Adolescents who feel “less than” are put at risk in a variety of ways. Their grades may suffer; they may shy away from making friends; and they may even follow kids into dangerous situations just to feel like they’re fitting in. In extreme cases, this can lead to self-harm and substance abuse.
The bottom line is that children who grow up with self-esteem issues can be at risk. While all adolescents struggle with insecurities at times, when a child is constantly criticized, it can lead to a sense of hopelessness that can impact their lives in a variety of ways. For example, kids who grow up thinking they’re not good enough often feel they’re not capable of getting the things they want out of life. As a result, they may give up or not strive for things that matter to them.
When it comes to relationships, people who grow up with low self-images may think they’re not worthy of being loved. As a result, they may stay in dysfunctional relationships because they don’t think they deserve better. On the other hand, kids who grow up knowing their value tend to become adults who create boundaries about what works for them, including how they want to live and what careers they choose.
That’s why it’s so important for parents to let their kids know they’re proud of them. When adolescents know their value, they generally make better decisions. If they feel confident and that they are respected, they can expect more from themselves. After all, if a person feels good about who they are, they’re less likely to tolerate people in their lives who don’t treat them well. Why would they accept being treated badly if they know they deserve better?
Negative Comments Can Impact a Child for Years
To help children develop a more positive self-image, it’s important for parents to be aware of what they’re saying to their children. Careless comments may be forgotten by a parent in minutes but may stick with a child for years. If a parent comments on their child being fat or tells them they’re dumb because of making a mistake, it can have a lasting negative impact.
What we can all do is be conscious of the way we relate to children. We don’t have to constantly praise them; however, it would be nice for them to hear a kind word when they do something well or accomplish a goal.
Being aware of the power of our words can make a big difference in our children’s lives. It’s important to their emotional development that they feel competent and capable. Sometimes the difference between having a successful life and one of struggle can be as simple as children knowing their value and that they are capable of striving for the things that are important to them.
