Let’s begin with a challenging drill: What thoughts and feelings appear as you read the words “Let’s begin with a challenging drill?” Do you have a sense of “Let’s do this!” or “Ugh, I’m not in the mood”? Are you curious? Excited? Nervous? Simply notice whatever thoughts and feelings show up without judging them as good or bad, right or wrong.
OK, now here’s the challenge. Get four large paper clips and your cell phone or a stopwatch. Separate the paper clips and set them on the table. Before you begin, take 10 slow, deep breaths. Then time yourself and, using only your dominant hand (the hand you write with), link all four paper clips together end to end in a chain. Most elite athletes can do this task in 30 seconds.
Before you begin, though, there is one additional part to the exercise: While you connect your paper clips, do your best to notice your thinking. When you are ready, start your timer and begin. Stop the timer when you have linked all four paper clips.
What did you say to yourself, either internally or out loud? Were your thoughts kind or unkind? Helpful or unhelpful?
Do you have thoughts like these when you are training and competing? Or when you are doing homework, taking a test, working on a project, or talking to someone you are interested in?
If some, or a lot, of your internal dialogue is unkind, unhelpful, and untrue, please know you are not alone. Most people have this negative internal chatter and self-critical play-by-play. I fondly call it Unkind Mind.
As author Grace Lichtenstein writes, Unkind Mind is our real opponent: “Your opponent, in the end, is never really the player on the other side of the net, or the swimmer in the next lane, or the team on the other side of the field, or even the bar you must high-jump. Your opponent is yourself, your negative internal voices.”
Sports psychologist Keith Kaufman has conducted multiple research studies regarding the benefits of mindfulness in sports. His research supports a primary premise of my book A Still Quiet Place for Athletes: that with practice you can learn to watch Unkind Mind without believing it, taking it personally, or letting it prevent you from fully expressing your talent. “Athletes can learn to recognize their mind wandering toward thoughts about limitations during competition (e.g., ‘I can’t sustain this pace’) but then mindfully label these experiences as just thoughts, let them go and bring attention back to a present moment anchor like their breathing. Through this process, athletes can free themselves from judgments that might unnecessarily determine their limits.”
And everyone—athletes, business people, performing artists, health care providers, young people, parents—can benefit from learning to observe their thoughts without believing them or taking them personally.
During the next week, practice simply noticing your thoughts without believing them or taking them personally. See if it helps you in your daily life—in training and competition, at work or school, on stage, or in your relationships.
This post is adapted from my book A Still Quiet Place for Athletes: Mindfulness Skills for Achieving Peak Performance and Finding Flow in Sports and in Life.
