You’re in 8th-grade. It’s math class, and you’re trying to finish a geometry worksheet before the bell. The room’s abuzz — other kids are chatting, clearly already done. The overbearing fluorescent lights are blazing white. From two desks over, someone’s pencil tapping starts to echo off your eardrums. An offensive odor wafts past from the hamster cage. Your corduroys itch. Your mouth is dry. Your brain feels scrambled, pulled in every direction, aimed at once at everything and nothing, and when you sneak a peek up at the clock, your anxiety skyrockets.
It’s all too intense, too immense. You’re overwhelmed and can’t concentrate. You want to give up, go home, crawl under the covers and shut it all out, wondering why the world feels so… much.
If any aspect of that anecdote resonates with you, you might be a highly sensitive person (HSP). HSPs have nervous systems that process emotions and stimuli more acutely than others. HSPs feel, think, and perceive more than others.
What Does Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) Mean?
Dr. Elaine Aron first introduced the concept of an HSP in 1996, kicking off a spate of research studying high sensitivity over the past three decades. When she presented the concept, she predicted that 15-20% of people possess this trait. More recent studies have suggested that closer to 30% of the population are HSPs (Lionetti et al., 2018).
Recognizing that HSPs experience sensitivity in unique and varied ways is essential. In Sensitive: The Hidden Power of the Highly Sensitive Person in a Loud, Fast, Too-Much World, Granneman and Sólo (2024) outline three distinct HSP subtypes:
- The Super Sensor: Their nervous systems pick up on minute details in their environment, and they are likely deeply perceptive and aware of subtleties others miss.
- The Super Feeler: They cry easily, feel emotionally drained after social interactions, or are intensely affected by human connection.
- The Aesthete: They experience moments of great inspiration and transcendence when engaging with beauty, music, art, and nature. Creativity profoundly impacts them.
As a Highly Sensitive Person therapist, I see sensitive clients every day who have spent their lives feeling overwhelmed by emotions, exhausted by their environment, and wondering if something is wrong with them.
So, how would you know if you’re an HSP? Here are three major signs:
1. You Get Overstimulated Easily
Let’s go back to that classroom. The bright lights, the loud chatter. The ticking clock. Your heartbeat quickens as pressure mounts.
As an HSP, you literally experience the external world more. For some sensitive people, each and every sound, noise, and smell is louder, brighter, smelly-er.
Overstimulation can happen anywhere—noisy restaurants, chaotic workspaces, and busy social events can make you feel agitated, on edge, and exhausted.
The good news? If you do experience sensory sensitivity (not all HSPs do, by the way), you can structure your environment to better support your needs. Make choices that curb the onslaught of sensory overload. Try noise-canceling headphones in busy spaces, choose warm accent lighting in place of harsh overheads, and give yourself the grace to step away when things feel like too much.
2. You Feel Emotions Deeply
Many HSPs feel emotion more intensely than non-HSPs. Maybe you’ve been told you are “too sensitive” because you’re quick to tears—whether it’s over a cheesy romcom, a small gesture from a stranger, or even that one TikTok of the most snuggly dog.
While emotions are concentrated and all-consuming for some HSPs, others find feelings inaccessible. These HSPs have developed distance from their emotions as a defense mechanism. Peers and family may have conditioned them to believe their feelings made them weak (“Toughen up, buttercup!”) or annoying (“Why are you still thinking about that?”). Many HSPs are skilled at employing strategies to prevent themselves from feeling or thinking. While the avoidance works in the short term (sometimes), it can lead the HSP to feel detached and disconnected from life.
In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we call the attempt to avoid unwanted internal experiences (e.g., feelings, thoughts, internal sensations) experiential avoidance. Humans do not like to feel discomfort, so we avoid uncomfortable experiences by working too much, coping with food, and self-distracting. If you are an HSP who feels disconnected from your emotions, it could mean that you are still sensitive but have buried the ability by avoidance.
The key to living freely with your emotional depth is being willing to acknowledge your uncomfortable feelings (and experience them) rather than running from them.
3. You Need More Downtime to Recharge
You love your friends and your family. You just do not have the capacity to be present with them in every moment.
Highly Sensitive Person Essential Reads
While some people can jump from interaction to interaction without missing a beat, HSPs tend to require space in between to recover. As an HSP, you may find yourself needing more sleep, coveting alone time, and feeling physically drained after one-on-one conversations.
You are not a lazy loner; your nervous system just requires a reset. If you feel guilty or ashamed for wanting this extra time, remember it’s essential. Please remember that you are not making this up. HSPs need the respite.
The World Needs HSPs
I surround myself with Highly Sensitive People. Do you know why? Because, in my experience as an HSP therapist, I see that they navigate the world with greater insight, compassion, and conscientiousness.
This is not just an anecdote from my personal and professional experiences. Research corroborates that HSPs possess unique strengths like enhanced empathy and thoughtfulness, boosted creativity, and heightened social skills (Grannerman and Sólo, 2024).
I truly believe that more sensitivity is what our world needs right now. HSP is not an affliction, it’s an awesome part of you. If you have these unique abilities, cherish them!
