Some principles of psychology are not at all new ideas. Eastern philosophies sometimes conveyed similar notions centuries earlier. But without science at the time to collect data on an idea or its implications, an ancient parable may have limits in describing the human condition.
An old Daoist parable I’ve seen more and more is the “empty boat theory.” In reels, shorts, and brief expositions, many content creators or self-help influencers have drawn on the parable’s power in trying to help individuals find peace and even to cure road rage (Siddharth M, 2026).
Among different tellings, you’re in a boat on a river in the fog when another boat collides with yours. You get angry but then realize that the other boat is empty—there’s no one steering it—and the anger vanishes. The boat must’ve broken free from its dock.
The general idea is that we can’t get angry because there is no one to get angry at. As conveyed by New York Times bestselling author Sahil Bloom, “After all, you cannot be angry at an empty boat” (Bloom, 2026). Anger arises from and needs to be directed at a person who has negative intent.
Well, yes and no.
Why the Parable Makes Sense
Anger does often comprise feelings against a person. Anger expert James Averill wrote that “more than anything else, anger is an attribution of blame” (Averill, 1983). So when some TikTokers claim we can feel less anger and anxiety in interpersonal conflicts by viewing others as people simply navigating their own life challenges—like intentionless “empty boats” (Shannon, 2026)—it makes some sense.
I don’t want to undermine anyone’s peace from this idea, but several issues complicate the parable and what lessons we can draw. Fuller analysis may bring even greater peace for more readers.
Causes of Anger
Other factors can trigger anger besides a perceived aggressor. Perceiving negative intent can still cause anger, but to assume that anger arose from such a perception may fall under the “converse error” (Taylor, 2019).
These other anger-inducing factors include crowds, congestion, blocked goals, bad weather, pain, heat, hunger, stress, and noise (Stalder, 2018). Gastroenterologist Christine Lee explained being “hangry” by saying “there is a physiological reason why some people get angry when they’re hungry” (Cleveland Clinic, 2021). Aggression expert Craig Anderson showed that heat can cause hostility and anger “in contexts devoid of potential targets of hostility” (Anderson et al., 1995).
Let’s face it—we’re pretty good at getting angry at all sorts of non-human things, such as the computer that deletes our files, the stove on which we stub our toe, or the swarm of mosquitoes that bite without mercy. And we can earnestly defend this emotion while admitting there’s no willful human behind these events. So being knocked off our feet during a boat ride can cause anger without our assuming someone maliciously or incompetently steered their boat into ours.
And yet, application of the parable may inadvertently convey that such anger is unjustified. Some victims, at least, may hear that message. In response to one “empty boat” post on Facebook, a commenter wrote, “Now you’re trying to gaslight people and tell them their feelings of anger are not valid? Way to go” (Clair, 2026).
Anger Can Cause a Search for Intent
Perception of intent can cause anger, but anger can also cause a subsequent perception of intent. Anger can trigger not only a search for who is to blame but also the very thought that someone is to blame. In cognitive dissonance theory, it’s about “making your view of the world fit with how you feel” (Myers, 2013). In Jonathan Haidt’s social-intuitionist model, after expressing an intense emotion, “one becomes a lawyer trying to build a case rather than a judge searching for the truth” (Haidt, 2001).
This process contradicts the vanishing-anger part of the parable. Once the anger comes, there is a motivation to justify it and find someone responsible, despite an empty boat. The lawyer is on the case. And who knows—there can still be a culprit who didn’t secure the boat at the dock or who overlooked the rusted mooring cleats that needed replacement. As one commenter wrote, “Your empty boat hit my boat, and now my insurance company is asking questions” (Rawlings, 2026).
Telling a victim they shouldn’t be angry might even make the victim more angry or at least depressed. Another commenter conveyed that the parable was telling her, “I must be the problem,” “No one cares about me,” and “The people who bully me and hurt me aren’t real” (Smith, 2026).
The Boat Is Rarely “Empty”
Taking a step back, a tenet of social psychology is that most behaviors are caused by a combination of personal and situational factors (Stalder, 2018). It is rarely all one or the other. And so it would be rare that the boat is truly “empty.”
It’s true that most of us overestimate personal characteristics and intentions behind bad behavior—this overestimation is part of the fundamental attribution error (FAE), which underlies the powerful spirit of the parable. But to think there are zero personal factors would risk a reverse FAE. And philosophically, do we want to remove all agency from our fellow strugglers through life (when they harm us)?
In Sum
Some self-help influencers exaggerate the idea that our anger can be caused by falsely inferring intention when we are harmed. This approach risks a form of victim-blaming.
But some who draw on the parable acknowledge the nuances that the boat is rarely empty, that we should still hold others responsible for behavior that harms us, and that just considering the possibility of unforeseen circumstances can reduce anger and anxiety. The parable may get some things wrong or may be incomplete, but the general lesson is extraordinarily valuable if undertaken with care.
