As a nation with a civil war in its history, we in the U.S. can hardly say we’re more polarized than we’ve ever been. But it feels like a close second sometimes, and the upward trajectory of our polarization’s pitch is concerning. Most of us see it clearly but feel helpless to change it. What can individuals actually do?
Loneliness Is Something We Can Work With
Media and political rhetoric get plenty of blame for our divisions, and they do deserve it! But research points to something else that we have more control over: how connected we are. It turns out that lonelier people perceive more social conflict, and as loneliness increases over time, so does fear of social unrest (Langenkamp et al., 2025). Furthermore, the more partisan conflict people perceive, the more likely they are to support political violence against opponents (Mernyk et al., 2022).
In short, research seems to indicate that loneliness drives polarization. It feels intuitive, though, doesn’t it?
On the other hand, people with closely knit social circles feel more kindness toward political opponents and are more open to talking with them. The same was found to be true for close-knit U.S. counties (Dillion et al., 2025).
So, how can we get closer, reduce loneliness, and come back together? There’s no playbook, but plenty of research has sought to understand low-loneliness cultures and has identified those conditions that appear directly related. From this, we can infer some completely doable individual actions that can help.
Volunteer Work
Volunteering is an excellent chance to interact with a diversity of people—different socio-economic classes, races, political leanings, and religions. Choosing an organization whose mission transcends politics allows us to do this without political divisions wrenching the works (Swader & Moraru, 2023). Non-partisan volunteer opportunities include:
- Disaster relief organizations, such as the Red Cross or Salvation Army
- A local mutual aid group or tool library
- Health or medical support programs, including Ronald McDonald House or a similar local children’s hospital network
- Events: A charity 5k or the Special Olympics, for example
- Crisis hotlines such as Crisis Text Line or Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (988)
- Children’s advocacy (CASA, for example)
Neighborliness
In many parts of the country, including ours in Western North Carolina, neighbor is a status that trumps all other categories. If anything goes wrong at home, our neighbors are the first line of support. A dear neighbor represents one of the very few opportunities we have left to know and love people who don’t agree with us. We can:
- Check in on our elderly neighbors or take them a meal periodically.
- Mow their lawn when they’re out of town.
- Sip a tea or beer with the mom/dad next door while the kids play together.
- Organize an occasional potluck or block party.
- Give them a few tomato plants in the spring or leave a zucchini on their porch in August.
Be a Regular
Every positive connection we make reduces the division among us. Even if we’re too busy to volunteer at the Special Olympics or make soup for a neighbor, just being a kind or cheerful regular somewhere can combat loneliness. A few ideas:
- Go to the same coffee shop every day between 7 and 8 am. Sit a while if you can.
- If you work from home, commit to working at a local café, library, or park one day a week.
- Chat with people in those places when it’s possible and appropriate.
Loneliness Essential Reads
Call Your Mom
Even if you don’t agree. The least lonely cultures have permanent multigenerational family units (Saparov, 2025), and while it isn’t always possible (or healthy) to share a home with our parents, we can chip away at polarization by facilitating a FaceTime call for them with their grandchildren or catching them up on our workplace gossip. Remember that the less lonely they are, the less they will focus on those us-them binaries.
Community Groups
An American Enterprise Institute survey found that “civically engaged Americans were half as likely to suffer from loneliness as Americans who were not civically engaged or socially active” (Abrams et al., 2019). Although it can feel as though literally nothing is safe from political and culture-war baggage these days, there remain a few places of refuge, such as:
- Niche hobbies, or “shared love” groups for things like birdwatching, mountain-biking, woodworking, or arts and crafts
- Recreational sports leagues
- Library activities or events
- Informal school-based communities—play groups, seasonal parties, etc.
- Most breweries or wineries
Civil Political Groups
If you do want to engage in politics and want to do your part to heal our cultural wounds, there are organizations dedicated to civil, intelligent cross-party discussion and problem-solving. Several robust national organizations have local chapters. If one doesn’t exist in your town, you can start such a group if you have the time and desire.
- Braver Angels
- Crossing Party Lines
- Living Room Conversations
- The Village Square
Shared Obligation
Another quality that researchers have observed in low-loneliness cultures is shared community, financial obligation, or caregiving obligation (Schermer et al., 2023). This kind of “horizontal collectivism” builds a great deal of trust within groups:
- Childcare cooperative: A group of neighborhood or school parents trade play group days, where one or two families watch the children and other families get child-free time.
- CSA work: Many community-supported agriculture (CSA) farms offer work trade opportunities. In exchange, workers receive free or discounted weekly food boxes and a chance to work alongside other community members they might not otherwise meet.
- Get involved in your HOA: If you live in a managed community, attending board meetings and events or volunteering will almost certainly place you among people across the political spectrum.
Bonus Points for Restoring Others’ Faith
Have you ever had an experience that restored your faith in humanity, like someone cheerfully going above and beyond to help you fix a flat? Sometimes a little ray of hope is all it takes to inspire someone. Try these:
- Put your phone away in public to be available for conversation.
- Learn the names of the people you see regularly and introduce them to others when you can.
- Pay for the coffee of the person behind you.
- Carry an elderly shopper’s groceries to their car.
- Pay sincere compliments to strangers.
- Leave a generous tip if it’s accessible for you.
Closing Thoughts
The radical left and the radical right are very small minorities (Kiley et al., 2026), and there are forces in this world benefiting from all of us believing otherwise (Boston, 2022). Perhaps the most patriotic thing we can do in this moment is to interact with other humans around us so that we might remember we’re more similar than different. Connection is revolutionary.
