In today’s “cancel culture,” one mistake can have severe consequences. This isn’t to say I’m against holding individuals accountable for their actions, or dismantling power dynamics to empower women, People of Color, and the LGBTQA+ community. I am all for that! It’s given many marginalized voices a platform to speak out. However, it has also created a climate where some people feel that there is zero room for error, and that any slip, no matter how small or unintentional, could result in public shaming or social exile. This post is not about the pros and cons of cancel culture; it is actually about how this environment has led to an increase in perfectionism and ultimately a new theme of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) called “cancellation OCD.”
What Is “Cancellation OCD?”
What does cancellation OCD look like? Picture this: You’re about to post something online. You’ve reread it six times, deleted and rewritten it twice, and even run it by a friend. Still, you hesitate. Your brain gives you thoughts like “What if someone takes this the wrong way?” “What if I forgot something important?” or “What if this comes back to haunt me years from now and I get cancelled?” Cancellation OCD isn’t a formal diagnosis, but it describes a subtype of OCD, where intrusive thoughts revolve around the fear of being “cancelled” or socially rejected for a real or imagined mistake. This is different than being mindful or thoughtful of your language and your intentions around others. It is a pattern of relentless thoughts and a pervasive sense of fear and doubt that you did something horribly wrong, even when there is no evidence to support this fear. These thoughts and emotions can make people feel paralyzed in decision-making, ultimately leading to avoidance.
Common intrusive thoughts might include:
- What if I posted something offensive years ago and forgot?
- What if someone interprets my words in the worst possible way?
- What if I unintentionally hurt someone and they publicly call me out for it?
The compulsions that follow often aim to prevent that feared outcome:
- Rereading and reediting your work (e.g., social media posts, work emails, etc.) repeatedly before posting or sending.
- Compulsively searching through old content to delete anything that could be “problematic.”
- Avoiding sharing opinions or personal updates entirely.
- Replaying past conversations in your head, looking for “evidence” that you didn’t say something “wrong.”
- Avoiding all forms of social media.
- Seeking reassurance from friends (e.g., “That wasn’t offensive, right?”).
The Perfectionism Link
Perfectionism thrives in environments where mistakes are perceived as dangerous. Cancel culture, with its quick judgments and lasting consequences, can intensify perfectionistic thinking, including:
- Unrealistic standards — Feeling pressure to have perfectly inclusive, thoughtful, and well-researched words at all times.
- Fear of failure — Believing even a slight misstep could destroy relationships, reputation, or career.
- Black and white thinking — I am either an all-good or all-bad person. There is no tolerance for anything in between.
- Self-criticism — Internalizing the message that your worth depends on never getting it wrong.
This isn’t just about wanting to do well; it’s about needing to be perfect to feel safe. For many, that constant pressure leads to burnout, avoidance, and, in some cases, obsessive-compulsive patterns.
Breaking the Cycle
It can feel terrifying to break the cycle of cancellation OCD. Your brain tells you that your career and integrity are at stake. As someone with a professional social media presence, I am constantly engaging in exposure work by posting content. It can feel scary to put your work out in the world for people to judge and possibly misinterpret. However, it’s time to break the cycle of cancellation OCD when it’s impacting your functioning and preventing you from living the life you want to live! If you recognize yourself in this pattern, there are steps you can take:
1. Notice when caution turns into compulsion.
Being thoughtful and kind are top values for many people, but if you’re spending hours scrolling through old posts, rereading emails, or avoiding speaking out altogether, fear, not values, is in the driver’s seat.
2. Practice ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention).
ERP is the gold-standard treatment for OCD. I always recommend working with a trained ERP therapist. For cancellation OCD, exposures might include:
- Posting without over-editing or reassurance seeking
- Resisting the urge to delete old content unless it genuinely conflicts with your values today.
- Embracing uncertainty about how others might interpret your words and speaking up in group settings or posting something online.
3. Build self-compassion.
It’s important to offer yourself words of encouragement and practice self-compassion. ERP is hard work! An example might sound like: “Mistakes don’t define my worth. I can own them when they happen, repair if needed, and move forward.”
4. Live from your values, not your fears.
Remind yourself that you know what your true values and intentions are (even if OCD doubts them). Act in accordance with your values, not what OCD fears are telling you.
5. Extend grace to others.
When you see someone else make a mistake, approach it with curiosity, dialogue, and the same compassion you’d want for yourself.
Final Thoughts
A world without accountability is dangerous, but so is a world without forgiveness. Cancel culture doesn’t have to mean that a single misstep defines someone forever. We can cultivate a culture that embraces mistakes, learning, and genuine change. We can resist the urge to show up perfectly and instead aim to live authentically, courageously, and compassionately, for ourselves and others.
To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
