Maurice grew up in a household where his father was domineering and often used fear to control him. His father’s unpredictable outbursts left Maurice feeling constantly anxious and unsure of how to behave. As a result, Maurice developed an intense fear of authority figures, particularly those in positions of power. This fear followed him into adulthood and affected his professional life.
At work, Maurice’s trauma affected his ability to do his job. Even when his boss’s tone was neutral, he interpreted it as criticism, feeling like he was being scolded or that he had done something wrong. He became paralyzed by the fear of her disapproval and often avoided communicating with her, which made it harder to complete his job. He feared that if he spoke up or made a mistake, he would face severe consequences, just as he had growing up. Over time, his performance at work began to suffer.
History can affect us in the professional world, leading to fears of authority or feelings of inferiority
Childhood trauma can significantly affect our experiences in the professional world, often manifesting in ways that influence how we relate to authority, peers, and even how we see our sense of competence.
Many survivors constantly feel like they’re not doing a good job, constantly worrying their boss is upset with them, or needing excessive praise as a form of reassurance. Many survivors of trauma have a deep fear of authority figures due to their past experiences with abusive or neglectful caregivers, which can make work relationships with supervisors and coworkers feel intimidating or threatening. When those who were supposed to protect us failed in childhood, it can lead to an inherent distrust of authority figures or those with power over us, as adults. This lack of trust often reinforces feelings of inferiority and unworthiness, making it difficult to feel confident or safe in professional settings.
Our history can lead to poor boundaries at work, often looking like not knowing when to leave an unhealthy environment
Our history can lead to poor boundaries at work, often looking like not knowing when to leave an unhealthy environment. This can stem from a deep-seated belief that enduring discomfort is normal or even necessary, especially if chaos or emotional neglect was part of our upbringing. Some survivors stay in toxic work environments too long, hoping to “fix” the situation, just as they might have tried to repair dysfunction in their childhood.
As a result, we may tolerate mistreatment or burnout far longer than is healthy, confusing survival skills from the past that were necessary for survival with professional resilience and skills, which is a risky mistake. Poor boundaries, such as overworking and then feeling resentment about it, are also common among survivors who believe their worth is tied to constant productivity and being needed. This is why burnout is common among those who have had trauma.1,2
What can we do if we notice these things?
Do you recognize any of these traits in your friendships? Do you find it difficult to form healthy, fulfilling connections due to fears of abandonment or getting hurt, or do you struggle with trust? If so, take a moment to reflect on how these experiences have shaped you. Remember to give yourself grace and understanding, these behaviors were protective mechanisms. Thank that part of you for its effort to keep you safe. Now, reassure yourself that you are developing healthier coping skills and are actively working toward breaking old patterns to build stronger, more authentic relationships. Self-awareness activities such as journaling, self-reflection, or other ways of educating yourself on unhealthy patterns can help.
