Overexplaining, the act of providing excessive detail or lengthy explanations, is a common experience among autistic individuals.
This tendency often arises from a desire for clarity and a fear of being misunderstood.
This article explores the phenomenon of overexplaining in autistic individuals, examining its underlying causes and offering strategies for addressing it.
Key Takeaways
- Overexplaining is frequently reported by autistic individuals, often stemming from a desire for clarity and a fear of being misunderstood.
- Autistic individuals may engage in extensive detail, repetition, literal answering, and struggle with summarizing information.
- Potential reasons for overexplaining include detail-focused thinking, difficulty with social cues, a need for transparency, and adherence to honesty and rules.
- Techniques like self-awareness, the “poke” technique, visual aids, mindfulness, checking in, and setting boundaries can be helpful.
- While adapting communication can be beneficial, it’s crucial to value and respect the natural communication styles of autistic individuals.
Personal Accounts of Overexplaining
Many autistic individuals share that they often overexplain when communicating. This means they give more detail and lengthier explanations than others might expect, for example:
- Fear of Misunderstanding: “I explain every little thing so I’m not misunderstood.” Many are anxious about being misinterpreted, so they cover every detail to be absolutely clear.
- Desire for Precision: “I want to express exactly what I mean.” Autistic people often value accuracy, so they’ll add background information, definitions, or context to ensure their point is understood correctly.
- Difficulty Gauging What Others Know: “I’m never sure how much the other person understands, so I tell them everything.” There is often uncertainty about what information the listener needs, leading them to err on the side of too much detail rather than too little.
- All-or-Nothing Communication: Some mention they either overexplain or underexplain with no middle ground. For example, they might give a huge info-dump on one topic but then be very brief on another, struggling to find the “normal” amount of explanation.
- Aftermath Emotions: Interestingly, several autistic people feel regret or worry after overexplaining. They might replay the conversation and think, “Maybe I talked too much and annoyed them.” This shows they are aware that their level of detail is uncommon, and they may feel self-conscious about it.
These highlight that overexplaining is a common, relatable experience in the autism community.
Common Communication Patterns
A few communication patterns emerge among autistic individuals:
Extensive Detail and “Info-Dumping”
It’s common to “dump” a lot of information when explaining something.
Autistic people often have a lot of knowledge or thoughts about a subject (especially if it’s a special interest) and will share as much as they can.
They might start at the very beginning of a concept and go step-by-step through to the end. This thoroughness can make their explanations very long.
Repetition and Reinforcement
Some will repeat points in different ways to make sure they’ve said it clearly. For instance, they might say the same thing in several phrasing variations, hoping one of those ways will definitely make sense to the listener.
This can seem repetitive to others, but to the autistic speaker it feels like covering all possible angles of understanding.
Literal Answering of Questions
Autistic communicators tend to take questions literally. If asked a vague question, they might provide a broad, detailed answer covering all possibilities, rather than narrowing down what the questioner might have meant.
One person described it as a “shotgun approach” – giving a scatter of information in case any of it is what the other person was looking for.
They do this because a loosely worded or broad question doesn’t give enough guidance on what’s being sought.
Difficulty Summarizing
Many autistic individuals find it challenging to summarize or condense their thoughts on the fly.
They may have so many relevant details in mind that deciding what to leave out is hard. It often feels safer to include everything.
As one person humorously noted, they could write a “85-page dissertation” when asked for an explanation, breaking it into chapters! This shows the impulse to be exhaustively thorough.
Different in Writing vs. Speaking
Some people report that their tendency to overexplain varies by communication mode.
For example, one autistic person might write very long messages or posts because writing allows them to pour out all the details.
But in speech, that same person might underexplain, perhaps because conversation moves fast or they get cut off. Others have the opposite pattern.
This suggests that overexplaining isn’t constant; it can depend on how comfortable the medium is and how much time one has to formulate thoughts.
Why Does Overexplaining Happen?
Experts and autism specialists have observed these same tendencies and offer several explanations for why autistic individuals may overexplain:
Detail-Focused Thinking
Autistic cognition is often very detail-oriented. Researchers note that autistic people might concentrate on specific facts and concrete details rather than the “big picture.”
Because of this thinking style, they tend to include every relevant detail when explaining, since all those details feel important.
This is sometimes described as a difference in information processing – autistic brains might not filter out what others call “minor” details, so everything seems worth mentioning.
Difficulty with Social Cues
Many autistic individuals have challenges with pragmatic language – the social side of communication.
They might not pick up on subtle cues that the listener is bored, confused, or in a hurry.
For example, a neurotypical listener might start looking away or give short “uh-huh” responses when they’ve heard enough, but an autistic speaker might not interpret those signals to “wrap it up now.”
Similarly, without clear feedback, the autistic person doesn’t know the listener already “got the point,” so they keep elaborating.
Experts link this to the autism trait of struggling to infer what others are thinking (sometimes called a difference in theory of mind).
Essentially, it’s harder to judge exactly how much the other person knows or wants to know, leading to giving more explanation just to be safe.
Need for Clarity and Transparency
Autistic adults like Dr. Devon Price have described being “accustomed to being misunderstood” throughout their lives.
After many experiences of people not taking their feelings or words seriously, they learn to go to great lengths to communicate clearly.
This can turn into a habit of overexplaining everything, just to avoid any chance of confusion.
In a sense, it’s a coping strategy: if they provide exhaustive information, maybe others won’t dismiss or misinterpret them.
Some therapists point out this can be a kind of anxiety or trauma response – always feeling you must justify or explain yourself so you won’t get in trouble or won’t be ignored.
It’s a form of self-protection developed from past social failures or criticisms.
Honesty and Rule-Following
Many people on the spectrum are very honest and literal. If a question is asked, they feel it should be answered completely and truthfully.
Giving a shallow or partial answer can feel “wrong” to them. So, if someone asks, “Why were you late?”, an autistic person might launch into the full timeline of their morning rather than the brief socially expected answer.
They’re not trying to make excuses; in their mind, they’re properly answering the question.
This adherence to answering fully is tied to the autistic trait of following social “rules” as they understand them (in this case, the rule is “when asked a question, give all the relevant information”).
Perseveration and Communication Style
Clinicians sometimes note that perseveration (getting stuck on an idea or repeating a point) is common in autism.
Overexplaining can be a form of perseveration in conversation – the speaker might circle back to the same point or keep expanding on it because their mind is still intensely focused on the topic.
It’s not that they intend to lecture; it’s that their thoughts haven’t moved on yet. Additionally, some autistic people “think out loud” to process their ideas, so their explanation might include their entire thought process.
This can be much longer than a distilled answer, but it’s how they arrive at conclusions.
Strategies for addressing overexplaining
While adapting communication strategies can sometimes be helpful for smoother social interactions, it’s important to embrace and value neurodiversity.
Autistic individuals should not feel pressured to suppress their natural communication style entirely.
Instead, the focus should be on developing self-awareness and flexibility to adjust communication based on the situation and the needs of the listener.
Below are some strategies you can utilize if you worry about overexplaining:
- Self-Awareness: Pay attention to your communication patterns and identify situations where you tend to over-explain. Reflect on the reasons behind this tendency and its impact on your interactions .
- The “Poke” Technique: Start with a concise explanation and then “poke” the listener with a question like, “Does that make sense?” or “Do you need more details?” This allows them to request clarification if needed.
- Using Visual Aids: When appropriate, use visual aids like diagrams or charts to convey information more efficiently. This can reduce the need for lengthy verbal explanations.
- Mindfulness: Before speaking, take a moment to pause and organize your thoughts. This can help you deliver your message more concisely and effectively .
- Checking In: Periodically check in with the listener to ensure they are following along. Ask questions like, “Am I making sense?” or “Is there anything you’d like me to clarify?”
- Setting Boundaries: If you feel overwhelmed or pressured to over-explain, it’s okay to set boundaries. You can say something like, “I need a moment to gather my thoughts before I can explain further.”
Final Thoughts
Overexplaining is a common experience – one rooted in the sincere wish to be understood and to communicate well.
The key themes that come up over and over are a need for clarity, a detail-rich thinking style, and challenges in judging the listener’s perspective.
Expert perspectives back this up, explaining that autistic brains and social processing work a bit differently, which can lead to these lengthy explanations.
Ultimately, recognizing why autistic people might overexplain helps foster patience and better communication on all sides.
Autistic people aren’t overexplaining to be difficult – often, they’re trying their best to connect and convey ideas.
With understanding and occasional gentle guidance on both sides about expectations, that communication gap can be bridged.
