This is Part 2 of a series. Read Part 1 here.
Over the decades, I have learned so much from my experiences in my consultation room, from my patients and from taking note of my own behavior as a therapist. I try to put my whole self into each session. My goal is to pay attention with my heart and brain. I remind myself to pay attention to verbal cues, body language, and the type of energy that clients are bringing into therapy (e.g., anxiety, frustration, dysphoria, etc.). My hope is that I will continue to grow as a therapist and that I will continue to do my best with the individuals I work with. I am also hoping that this post will inform therapists and their clients.
There are a number of points that I would like to add to my initial list:
- A good therapist is well-rested, well-nourished, and taking good care of his or her physical and mental health. I can’t emphasize this strongly enough. First, if you are not engaging in good self-care, then I highly doubt that you can be fully present for your clients. And, yes, I have heard more than one story of a therapist falling asleep mid-session. Imagine the feeling that that engenders in someone who is opening up to you and assuming that you are very much available to help. Second, as a therapist, you are in a position to be an excellent role model. Please take that seriously.
- Keep excellent and thorough notes after the session while everything is still fresh in your mind. You should be able to refer back to themes, history, progress, medication usage, and those who people your clients’ lives. Look at these notes prior to each session so that you can engage your clients fully without asking them to repeat themselves frequently.
- Review the goals of the therapy sessions regularly. Ask your client if they would like to continue with current goals, add new ones, or modify earlier goals. Therapy should have a clear focus that can be articulated by clients and patients. Rambling sessions don’t serve anyone, although an occasional bit of rambling is inevitable. We all do it.
- Continue to educate yourself and stay up to date with current research and practices in your particular field. Yes, decades of experience are helpful, but new ideas and research are alive and well, and we should all be interested in learning about new models of care.
- Timing is everything. If you have been paying attention, then you will know when your clients are ready to discuss tricky topics. Here, I am especially thinking about having clients disclose family secrets. Tread gently and empathically. Explain that your office is a safe space and unburdening themselves of secrets might feel like a huge relief. This is especially important if individuals are carrying secrets that cause shame and/or embarrassment.
- Pay attention to what your clients avoid talking about. Perhaps they are avoiding discussion of someone or a situation that had a tremendous impact on them. What is avoided may be just as important as what is discussed.
