Children sense something wrong—even if they haven’t seen the news. Your calm presence matters more than having all the answers. Begin with age-appropriate honesty:
“Something unfortunate and scary happened. A Jewish family’s home was set on fire just because of who they were. That can feel upsetting—and it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused about it.”
Don’t dismiss their fears with quick reassurances. Instead, sit with their emotions. Reflect on what you hear: “You’re feeling scared. That makes sense. When bad things happen, it’s natural to feel unsure or upset.”
Reinforce Safety and Trust
After trauma—whether personal or witnessed—children need to be reminded of the safe people and safe systems around them. Reinforce who they can trust:
- Parents and caregivers
- Teachers and school staff
- Neighbors and close family friends
- Police officers or trusted community helpers
Then, go a step further: Discuss your family emergency plan, not from a place of fear but from a place of empowerment. Consider:
- Who do we call if something scary happens?
- Where is a safe place we can all meet if phones are down?
- Who are the helpers around us?
Make it a collaborative conversation. Invite your children to help come up with ideas.
Limit News Exposure and Be Present
We live in an age of instant, relentless news. It’s too much for even the most resilient adults, let alone young children and teens. Limit how much your kids see and hear—and be mindful of what you’re absorbing.
You are your child’s emotional barometer. Your grounded presence is their anchor.
Let them know: “You are safe. We are together. And you can always talk to me about anything bothering you.”
Model Connection, Allyship, and Action
When the world feels threatened, the instinct is to pull in and isolate. But healing happens in connection. This is a time to model community resilience:
- Attend a local vigil or community gathering.
- Write letters of support to those affected.
- Talk with non-Jewish friends and allies about standing together against hate.
- Volunteer as a family.
These acts don’t just help others but build strength and purpose within your children.
Let them see you being active, speaking out, and standing proud in your identity.
Keep Faith and Keep Talking
Jewish people often state that they carry within them a long history of surviving, resisting, rebuilding, and hoping. Teach your children that this is part of our story—not just the pain, but the perseverance.
Keep the conversation going. Safety isn’t created by a single talk. It’s built moment by moment through connection, honesty, and love.
In the words of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, “The whole world is a very narrow bridge—but the main thing is not to be afraid.” As we walk that narrow bridge together, may we hold tight to one another—and to the hope that our children will build a better world with our help and guidance.
