On Tuesday, August 4, 2026, blogger Perez Hilton live-streamed a brutal episode of self-mutilation for approximately 15 minutes on TikTok Live. The stream may have continued had the platform not taken the deeply disturbing content down earlier—though 15 minutes was an astonishingly long time for content that violated TIkTok’s policies to remain in place. (TikTok has since blamed technical challenges for the delay in shutting down the horrific stream.)
Thanks to “multiple calls regarding an individual who was live-streaming acts of self-harm,” Hilton was apprehended by Miami-Dade County police and transported to a hospital by emergency medical services.
Viewers of the livestream describe it as traumatizing. “I saw about two seconds of it and wanted to vomit,” wrote one Reddit user. Another commented that it was so disturbing as to trigger their own relapse of self-harm.
And yet. Some people are still seeking out the video, if not images from it or news about it. Why? What could possibly be compelling so many people to seek out such a disturbing and, for some, triggering video and story?
The Science of Morbid Curiosity
Disturbing content kicks off a series of neuropsychological responses apart from mere aversion. One of those responses involves the brain circuitry of reward. A 2020 fMRI study found that opting to consume violent content provoked a stronger activation of the striatum, inferior frontal gyrus, anterior cingulate cortex, and anterior insula—several regions involved in processing reward—when compared to opting for neutral or pleasant content.
Disturbing material may be more rewarding because it’s more emotionally activating as well as taboo—and what’s more alluring than the very thing we’re told not to think about, look at, or do? As study authors Suzanne Oosterwijk et al. explain, “negative information may be more novel, rare, deviant, uncertain, challenging or complex”—all of which engages reward circuitry through evoking curiosity and intrigue.
Add to this that upsetting material is more emotionally activating than non-upsetting material and this adds another layer of unfortunate magnetism to horrific imagery and news. It’s much harder not to read about, watch, or consume content that makes us feel something, even if that something is pretty horrified.
As researchers Coltan Scrivner and Joseph M. Stubbersfield note in their 2023 study on morbid curiosity, a huge pull of disturbing content is also the potential it has to help us learn from its threatening information. While much of the searching for news and images about Perez Hilton’s meltdown may stem from an irresistible urge to witness the terrifying, another motivation may be to better understand what the heck happened so that we and those we love can circumvent a similar fate.
Reward ≠ Pleasure
The pursuit of reward doesn’t always equate with peace or happiness. Reward seeking can sometimes be upsetting and anxiety-inducing. Drug-seeking is one example. Another is rumination, which can activate reward pathways but is anything but pleasant or good for us. See also: compulsive checking or reassurance seeking—they initially feel rewarding and activate many of the same reward processing structures due to temporary relief. But they ultimately perpetuate misery by preventing those who engage in them from tolerating uncertainty and trusting themselves, while often pushing others away.
It may make more sense, then, why many people couldn’t look away from Hilton’s self-harm live-stream. They didn’t enjoy it. They just couldn’t help themselves.
Are Some People More Morbidly Curious than Others?
Morbid curiosity is a rather universal affliction. Research by Oosterwijk and Scrivner suggests that “general morbid curiosity appears to be a common behaviour and the trait has been found to be normally distributed in samples.” That said, some demographics tend to be higher in morbid curiosity than others.
Individuals who exhibit much higher degrees of morbid curiosity (think: those who are frantically searching for disturbing footage, chronically consume horror movies, and obsess over true crime) “tend to be younger, more rebellious, more socially curious, and less disgusted by or afraid of death,” as Scrivner and Stubbersfield explain. They also tend to be higher in anxiety and neuroticism than folks who more readily turn down invitations to gawk at the macabre. “This seemingly paradoxical finding could be explained by the heightened vigilance in morbidly curious people, which motivates them to seek out and attend to threat-related information.”
Self-Harm Essential Reads
What to Do About Morbid Curiosity
While morbid curiosity can be normal to an extent, left unchecked it may negatively affect our mood and behavior by populating our minds with unforgettably disturbing content that colors our sense of safety and security. If you’re finding it difficult to resist urges to look up or consume content that leaves you feeling worse, a good strategy is to set a timer for at least 20 minutes and take a media break. During that time, do something physical (ideally outside if you can) to shift your attention.
Another helpful (and science-backed) strategy is the Three Good Things exercise:
Scan the past 12-24 hours for three good things. They needn’t be massive. A satisfying cup of coffee or pleasant smile from a stranger can do the trick. Just get to three. Re-live every single one in detail. Remember what you did to make each happen. Who else was involved? What time of day was it? What did that good thing do for you? How did you feel? The more effort we put into focusing on the good things, the more positive sentiment we foster and the more power we wrestle away from the negative information we’ve been exposed to.
If you or someone you love is self-harming or contemplating suicide, seek help immediately. For help 24/7 dial 988 for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
