Over 30 years ago, I first learned to pay attention to the space between my thoughts. It was in a book by a Tibetan Buddhist teacher. (Sad to say, I’ve forgotten his name and the name of his book.) He had us pay attention to the thinking process, specifically how there is always a gap between when one thought ends and the next thought arises.
A couple of years ago, I was delighted to find this practice again in a wonderful book by a Buddhist teacher in a different tradition: the Theravadin monk Ajahn Brahm. His book is called Kindfulness (such a wonderful title!), and here’s how he describes the practice:
Attend closely with sharp mindfulness when one thought ends and before another thought begins—there! That is silent awareness! It may be only momentary at first, but as you recognize that fleeting silence you become accustomed to it. And as you become accustomed to it, the silence lasts longer. You begin to enjoy the silence, once you have found it at last, and that is why it grows.
I feel calm and peaceful when silence replaces the mental chatter that is almost always going on in my mind. I love the silence, even if it only lasts for a short time.
I‘ve added, “for a short time” because, of course, the mind is going to resume thinking. After all, it’s a thinking machine! In addition, thinking is essential so that we can keep commitments, make plans, and, hopefully, make wise decisions about the course of our lives.
And yet, there are benefits to this simple practice of looking for the silence between thoughts. It’s an alternative to our almost constant experience of discursive thinking when one thought piles upon another in a seemingly endless stream. This type of thinking is a deeply engrained habit, in which we often engage, if for no other reason than to occupy our minds.
Like me, you may have had the experience of looking forward to the weekend so you won’t have to think about problems at work. But, as often happens, the thoughts related to those problems follow you, even starting right up on Friday night.
To change this habit takes practice. You have to commit to looking for those spaces between your thoughts and even trying to prolong them. In my experience, what Ajahn Brahm said is true: As I learn to enjoy the silence, it lasts longer. I’ve found that the most successful way to get good at this practice is to sharpen your mindfulness skills. You need not be meditating to do this.
Here’s how:
When you become aware that you’re in that familiar groove of one thought piling upon another, stop, and take three or four conscious breaths. To do this, pay close attention to the physical sensation of the breath as it comes in and goes out of your body. As you’re doing this, switch your attention to what is going on in the present moment you find yourself in: perhaps you see a picture that you hung on the wall to enjoy, or the sound of a bird chirping, or the physical sensation of your body sitting in a chair.
Doing this, your thinking will change. It will slow down. Then you can try what Ajahn Brahm suggested: Watch for the space after one thought ends and before another begins. That is the moment of silence he’s referring to.
I consider it an act of self-compassion to look for the silences between thoughts. It gives me a break from discursive thinking. It is a moment of calmness and restfulness that my mind sorely needs.
We wouldn’t think of not giving our bodies a rest—every day in fact. Why not rest our minds by stopping verbalization, even if only for a short time at first?
I hope you will try this. My best to you.
